We used to call you the Fetus. And you surprised us all.
I remember those endless nights on call in neonatology. The white board in the neonatal intensive care unit, with its long list of women in premature labour and babies arriving too soon. Mothers-to-be weeping as we, in all brutal honesty, confronted them with the horrible statistics and harsh outcomes that awaited their little ones. Professionally, gently, we dissected dreams and destroyed hopes. I felt so guilty…
And I dared not acknowledge my shameful, secret, semi-conscious wish – that the parents would decide against resuscitation of their babies at the threshold of viability so that I could catch a few more moments of sleep.
You were twenty-three weeks old, and your parents wanted you very badly. Do everything, they told us. We assured them that we would try our utmost. Still, we were not hopeful.
You came out, in a gush of blood and water. Your skin was translucent. Your eyes were shut. I held my breath. Then you breathed. And you cried.
We brought you to the ICU, worked on you furiously, dolled you up with umbilical lines and endotracheal tubes, pushed surfactant down your airway and antibiotics into your bloodstream. It was touch and go that night.
You made it through the night. And the next day, and the day after that.
You made it all the way to term gestation. Chronic lung disease, a recalcitrant patent ductus arteriosus, growth retardation and rickets of prematurity couldn’t stop you. We met your parents, talked often to them, gave them guarded hope.
“How were the Fetus’s gases this morning?”
“Well, he isn’t a fetus any longer.”
Thank you, baby boy. The unexpected miracle of your life made me believe once more in the power
of God’s healing.
~ by Dr Alison Snodgrass
Dr’s Blog is a feature of the CMG web site that aims to encourage interaction between Guild members. We hope to foster a spirit of community through the sharing of thoughts and personal experirences. The opinions expressed in these blogs are entirely those of the contributors and not of the Catholic Medical Guild of Singapore.
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